To be the hunter or the hunted. Or both.

The Crooner has not called. I'm beginning to be numb by this sequence of events, and more than a little bitter. Here's the deal: Every weekend I go out. Every weekend I meet one boy who I manage to fall in love with, and one who manages to fall in love with me. The problem lies in that they are not the same boy. Now I don't know what's going on here, but I feel like I'm living in the bitter cynic world of The Rules of Attraction, where no one can ever know anyone else and we are all destined to live in bad bitter love triangle forever. I'm not that upset that one guy didn't call, don't get me wrong.

First of all, I'm upset with the guys I fall in love with. Cute, smart, funny guys like Steelers fan, who I met out on Friday. Financial analyst, upper-crust Pittsburghian who is a total jock and down to earth. He just moved here and I told him I could show him around. We talk, we flirt, I MAYBE made out with him some, and then: nothing. He gave me his number( I believe this is a cop-out, forgive me if I'm wrong) and he tells me to call him sometime when I want to take him to a museum. I called him with my number right after, so that he has it, but I still have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that he will not call. And maybe I should call. And maybe I'm being judgmental thinking that the man should be the pursuer because he is the one who really wants to pursue and a girl calling, especially the first call, is just desperate. Maybe I am being paranoid, but I don't think so. Doesn't the man want to be the chaser? Case in point (actually, cases):

The reason I was out on Friday was to meet up with and attempt to remember Jersey boy from last weekend. Who btw, turned out to not be from New Jersey, but here. And, he was short, and also just rude.

K.S. and I went back to the far side of town this past Friday. And this might not seem far to you, but 25 min. is hella far to drive in this town. I wanted to meet up with Jersey Boy and see what he was like in a more sober state of mind. When we arrived the bar was already packed. We waited for a drink for 20 minutes and some girl spilled her drink all over the back of my pants. I could tell it was a good idea we had come there.

Not.

I texted him to find out where he was after we had migrated to the back, and of course he replied that he was at the bar. I was a little hesitant to go up there and look for him because I literally thought I wouldn't recognize him, but I sucked it up and started my way up there. Seeing him made me realize why I should never meet people drunk. And it's not that he was all that bad looking, I just had a completely different mental image in my head about what he should look like. Which in itself is bad. So he went to the bathroom while K.S. and I spot an empty table and he has us take his coat over with us to snag the table. Here's where the rudeness comes in: He has his friend (a girl, btw) come over and say that she's leaving and left her coat in the car so Jersey Boy wants her to take his. Thinking nothing of it, I hand it over, not realizing this is his way of ditching us! Unbelievable.

However, I shortly after meet Steelers Fan which is fine. The worst part about Jersey Boy? He actually showed back up at the bar about 1:30 looking for me so he could try and convince me to come home with him. What a sleeze.

Why do all the shady dudes fall for me? Seriously, I would like to know. Do I exude a vibe of "I am damaged goods, so please try and use me?"

So here comes Saturday. My college roomate's boyfriend just broke it off with her, so she needed me to come to Northern VA to take her out and take her mind off of her ex. It was karaoke night, so you know it was going to be bad. Although I did sing "Strong Enough," by Sheryl Crow, which was actually a good song for me. And "Build Me Up Buttercup", of course. While out I meet a guy who I'll call, "Possibly Psycho."

I don't like it when guys I first meet are all over me. In my opinion, hand holding, putting your arm around me, etc. are things reserved for girlfriends or potential girlfriends. Possibly Psycho started them within 2 minutes of meeting me. At first I was just thinking he was a sweet talker, saying all those things the players say. Then there was some weirdness with his bill , which happened again later that night. I think he is possibly a clingy little liar who doesn't pay his bar tabs. He kept talking about "all the chemistry we had together," and "Is this real, seriously? Because I really like you and I am always honest and I really want to get to know you."

I gave him my number, partly because I thought he could have just been drunk and partly because I do not know how to say no to people. And of course, he called! The crazy ones always call.

I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I wish I could be happy with being single and meeting tons of guys but it all seems a little fake to me, whether I'm being the fake one and flirting back with a guy like Psycho who I will never call, or someone is talking to me all night with no intentions of calling. I can't get that mad at the non-callers, because I do it too! I just wonder when I'll find someone who doesn't have to try so hard to be cool, and who I don't have to try and be cool for. Because even if there is mutual attraction, I feel like all the games and rules that must be followed, lest you end up looking psycho, always trip me up. My phone is full of the numbers of men who I don't care about but who want me, and men who I want but who won't answer if I call.

I'm not sure who I should be giving chances to and who I should just keep so I know not to answer. Should I be pursuing or sitting back and waiting? If waiting, when does it become okay to initiate contact as if to show a little interest?

You'd think I was in middle school for God's sake.